Take Down Your Inner Critic in 4 Badass Moves
The inner critic is the voice in the back of our minds that negatively evaluates our every move. Sometimes the inner critic is good; it can help us grow and do better. But sometimes, it’s just plain cruel. It tells us we aren’t doing enough, that we aren’t smart or attractive, or that we aren’t good enough. Sometimes it even calls us names. The inner critic can be a nasty beast that makes us feel ashamed, humiliated, and small. It can be so loud that it paralyzes us from doing anything, because we’re afraid of failure. So, is your inner critic a bully? If so, what can you do to deal with it?
1. Give it a name
Choose a name that is lighthearted, something that doesn’t scare you. Get silly with it. For example, “The Nag,” “Miss Big Mouth,” or “Negative Nancy.” When you give it a name, especially a goofy one, it loses its power. It is no longer a daunting force that controls our every move. Now it’s just an annoying and very rude character residing in our brains.
2. Examine the evidence
Let’s say your inner critic tells you that your behavior at a party was super weird and awkward and you should totally feel embarrassed. Now let’s grab a (metaphorical) magnifying glass and see if it’s true. What did you do that was super weird and awkward? How did people react? Did someone tell you that you were being weird and awkward? Remember to gather the real, factual evidence. Try not to make assumptions about what others were thinking. Most likely, there isn’t much evidence to support the point that your inner critic just made. It doesn’t hold any real weight or truth. So why believe it?
3. Talk back
When your inner critic pops up to say something nasty, talk back to it. If it says “You spent all day wasting time instead of studying. You’re lazy!” snap back with “No, I spent my day relaxing because I was exhausted from studying all week. I’m not lazy, and you’re a jerk!” Think of your inner critic as something that lacks credibility. It’s a liar and it doesn’t have power over you. Don’t be afraid to tell it off a little. Side note, if you’re in public, I recommend not doing this aloud…🤣
4. Show Compassion Toward Yourself
It seems counterintuitive, I know. But remember that corny quote about how fighting fire with fire turns people to ashes? It has a point. Piling more pressure and higher expectations on top of the inner critic’s insults is just adding fuel to the fire. Maybe it’s time you turn to your inner nurturer. Your inner nurturer is encouraging and compassionate. It is protective and kind. Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a close friend. It’s about time you treat yourself with the compassion you deserve.
Take our QUIZ to see if you have an Inner Critic!
Would you like to work on your Inner Critic? Join our Challenging Unhealthy Thoughts group in the humanest online community.
Check out this Instagram post our counselor Jo made about her Inner Critic(s) - It’s Statler & Waldorf from the Muppets!
