Back to School: 7 ways to ease the transition to in-person school (for the kids, and for you!)
For many children, this week marked their first time back to in-person school in well over a year. As parents know, the adjustment after summer break is hard enough any normal year - getting used to the early mornings, long days, new faces, homework. But this year, the changes are likely to have an even greater impact.
Not only have kids been out of the classroom for 18 months, at least part-time, but many have had limited social exposure in general as we sheltered in place. Even if they went back to school, it was likely in smaller groups and for shorter periods. Going back to campus means a surge in socialization, and the change between spending time with your two best friends to being in a classroom of 30 children can be extremely overwhelming.
We need to also bear in mind the fact that children may be dealing with multiple other new factors: grief from having lost a loved one; some form of regression - emotional, developmental or academic - as a result of being at home for such a long period; and they may have developed new behaviors such as increased anxiety due to the pandemic.
It’s more important than ever to talk to our children and keep vigilant of their mood and behavioral changes and intervene if necessary, and help them embrace this new phase of their life.
Here are seven ways parents can ease their child’s transition back into full-time school.
Talk to your child about school. What are the changes? What is different or new? How do they feel about it? Letting them know that you expect things to be different can help them acknowledge and normalize change, and feel open to talk about how they feel about it.
Help them sit with anxiety. Let them know we can’t change who’s in our class, who our teacher is, what’s for lunch, or what time snack is, but it is ok to feel worried about these things at the beginning as they are different from our normal routine. We can reassure them that the anxious feeling doesn’t mean anything bad is going to happen, and it will most likely go away over time. Remind them of previous times when they were anxious but everything turned out okay. Of course, if the anxiety doesn’t go away, or if it increases, it’s time to talk to the teacher.
Prepare them. If your child is worried about Covid, remind them of the things they can do to protect themselves - wearing their mask and washing their hands. Pack some hand sanitizer and their own water bottle if it reassures them. Find out what the school’s policy is if a student were to contract Covid - being prepared can help your child accept the situation were it to arise.
Look for changes in behavior. Anxiety and depression can translate into behavior - acting out, sullenness. Keep this in mind and dig deeper when issues arise.
Keep lines of communication open with the teachers. Initiating a dialogue and talking to your child’s teachers is a great way of finding out how your child is doing, keeping track of any changes in behavior, and communicating your concerns. No teacher minds being contacted by a concerned parent.
Contact the school counselor, or get outside help. If your child needs support, enlist the free services provided by the school. You may wish to find an outside therapist too. It doesn’t have to be forever but therapy can help during the adjustment period. If your child’s anxiety increases over time, therapy can really help. Consider getting a therapist for yourself too - parents need support too! With online therapy so readily available now, it does not even have to be long-term - here at humanest we offer standalone sessions that really help in the moment. If you would like to talk to someone, book a session through www.humanestcare.com
Take time for self-care. We become so focused on thinking about our kids' needs that we can easily neglect our own. We can't adequately be there for them if we aren't getting our own basic needs met–sleep, exercise, food, deep breathing, remembering to slow down and pause in moments of chaos. And be gentle with yourself–it’s ok to let a few balls drop; back to school is new and overwhelming for you as well (putting pants on before 9am? Whaat?) Talk to yourself as you would to your child who is feeling stressed out and under pressure. Not only will you reap the benefits and be able to support your kids better, but you'll also be role modeling this behavior for them.
