How do I find connection when I’m feeling isolated?
In his new book, Dr Thomas Insel, co-founder of humanest and former director of the National Institute of Mental Health, casts light on a way forward for mental health treatment in America. While mental illnesses are medical problems, he says, the cures for the escalating mental health crisis are not just medical, but social. Here are some ways to add essential social connection into your life even if you’re not able to meet in person, so you can ensure you are taking care of your mental health.
Find out more about Dr Insel and his book at the end of this article.
“Social isolation can be devastating; social attachment can be curative” — Dr Thomas Insel
First of all, don’t wait for people to contact you. Feeling better takes effort and action, so make the first move. You can do it!
When reaching out, consider coming from a place of “How are you?” rather than “I’m not ok.” It can make it easier to reach out if you shift into a place of purpose — checking on your friends and caring for others—instead of feeling needy, like you are a burden, or simply thinking you have nothing of value to say, all of which are easy to feel when you are not at your peak mental strength.
Schedule regular video calls with friends and family. Put them on your calendar and prioritize them as you would a work meeting. Don’t skip them, don’t hide away. Even if you don’t feel like it in the moment, tell yourself you’ll be letting the other person down if you do, and they might be really looking forward to that call, or have something they need to talk about. Be a reliable friend/daughter/son. If you don’t know what to say, start with “How are you?”
Catch up with old friends you’ve been out of touch with. A simple “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you. How are you?” shows you care and will start a conversation.
Start a text or email chain with friends sharing things you enjoy: good articles, videos, podcasts, songs, etc.
Arrange to meet up outside with a local friend, masked-up and at a safe distance. Make it a weekly date. Chances are they are needing connection as much as you.
Play online games with friends.
Start up an impromptu virtual book club with a friend or group of friends, by starting to read the same book together, then check in to discuss it.
Start watching TV shows or movies at the same time with friends, then check in to discuss them.
Call or video-chat with friends while taking virtual tours together of museums, national parks, and more from Google Arts & Culture
Move together: plan walk-and-talk phone conversations for when you walk around your respective neighborhoods, plan to attend the same online workouts, or schedule online dance parties. Getting active is SO good for your mental as well as your physical health and doing it together will help you both.
Send a funny video or meme to a friend out of the blue. We all need to laugh and it will make their day. It’s likely to start a back and forth that will brighten your days too.
Tune in to live-streamed concerts and other events together, like our book event below!
Learn more about Thomas Insel and his new book here.
Attend the live Zoom Q&A event on Monday January 24 at 6pm.
