A Last Minute Survival Guide for the Holidays—6 Top Tips to Get You Through the Day

Family gatherings can be some of the best times of our lives. But they can also go badly wrong. Opinions, rivalry, grievances, and grudges collide and thoughts that would normally be kept in check can boil over under the pressure (especially if alcohol is in the mix!). The good news is that you’re in control. Not of other people, but of yourself—your actions and reactions.

Here are 6 top tips to get through the day drama-free and give yourself the gift of peace.

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1. Accept everyone for who they are.

You are not going to change them in one day. Today, see them not as your mom, dad, brother, sister. Today, they are flawed humans who make mistakes, have annoying habits, and different opinions—just like you. Just for today, choose to keep your mouth shut about all of it!

2. “You can watch the circus but you don’t have to put on a clown suit.”

What does this saying mean? It means let everyone else go at it, and watch from the sidelines. If an argument starts, go make a cup of tea, or watch on with amusement and smugness—because this year, you’re not taking part!

3. Decide to be kind.

Everything you say, everything you do, preface it with the thought, “Today, I am being kind.”

4. Be wary of expectations.

Do you expect everyone to be on their best behavior? Do you expect Uncle Mark not to get drunk? Do you expect your sister to love your gift? Do you expect your mom to keep her opinions to herself? Throw all your expectations out the window. It may help to write a list of what you’re expecting of the day…it might surprise you how many expectations you have; not unreasonable expectations, just expectations. Then ask yourself, “What will I do if this doesn’t happen?” This way you’ll be prepared.

5. Get your friends on speed dial!

Text your friends throughout the day to vent. It helps to release the pressure of the day with people who understand you, and who can laugh at the events with you.

6. Pause.

Before you speak, PAUSE. Give yourself time to think, “How will what I’m about to say help the day?” If it will cause or add to the drama, let it go. Be the bigger person, if not for the family, for you. You are giving YOURSELF the gift of peace. And peace is really what we all want for ourselves.

(7. All of the above is much easier if you give yourself a two-glass limit on alcohol!)