How to protect your mental health at college (from the pros, and the been-there-done-thats!)

Hey there, students! humanest wishes you many congratulations on being accepted into university, and starting the next phase of the rest of your life. There are few moments more exciting than arriving at college and thinking about all the amazing new experiences ahead of you.

But it can be really overwhelming too. All the changes – academically and socially – can take a toll on your mental health. It’s important to acknowledge that and take steps to protect it.

First of all, you’ve moved away from home, away from all the familiarity and security that that provides, and this can be lonely (even when you are surrounded by so many people).

Secondly, this new phase of your life brings many new responsibilities. You have to manage your own money, perhaps get a job; plan your study schedule and meet deadlines that no-one will remind you about; plan, shop for, and cook your own meals, and stay on top of household chores.

Third, you have so much freedom! There’s no-one setting curfews, or to tell you you can’t eat cheesecake for breakfast, there are parties left and right, and outside of class you can pretty much set your own agenda. And while this is awesome, working out how to balance your freedom and your responsibilities is a new challenge in itself.

If you are feeling the pressure, it’s pretty much guaranteed you’re not alone. Yet it can be hard to admit you’re suffering and ask for help. You may feel that you want to show your friends and family, and yourself, that you can handle this new challenge. But it’s completely normal and we want to help.

Below, humanest’s therapists have provided their advice on how to protect your mental health during this amazing, but potentially challenging, time in your life. 

We also thought it would be fun to ask advice from those who’ve been there... the alums. We asked college graduates young and old:

"Looking back at your college experience from a mental health perspective, what advice would you give to a Freshman?"

We hope it helps.

Advice from our therapists

• Be patient and take it slow. You are in a completely new environment, full of opportunities, experiences, and circumstances. Be mindful of every experience and emotion you are going to go through. From the first tear due to a class hardship, to the moment you feel so inspired by something or someone, to the great times you will experience with your peers and new-found relationships. College is a special moment in your life. Enjoy it, cherish it, and most importantly, don't rush it.

• Be who you are and not what you think other people want you to be.  You may be feeling queasy right now and perhaps feel shy or have a lowered confidence because of how bustling and new college is. I want to tell you that that is alright. Why? Because everyone else is feeling that way too. Have you heard of the spotlight effect? We are hyper aware of every mistake and embarrassing thing that we can possibly make. But guess what, everyone is so focused on their own spotlight, that your mistake probably will not matter at all and, I assure you, it will be quickly forgotten. With that said, feel free to be who you are and proud of your own skin.

Carlo Magno Catabijan

• Be part of as many things as possible. Your college experience will be one of the most fun, exciting, and momentous parts of your life. It is also the time where you will be molded by your exposure to different cultures, experiences, ideas, and life circumstances. Take part in as many things as possible because this memory will be etched into your existence and this will help you learn to be more adaptable, resistant, and intellectual as an individual.

• Learn to fail. If there is one thing that is constant, it is that you will experience failure in life at one point or another. This is the perfect stage for trying many things and learning to fail at them. This will only make you more resilient and stronger.

Karen Kochenburg

• Be brave and ask for help. Go to your professor's office hours, find other resources for support, ask for guidance, tutoring, or counseling if you need it. There are lots of people ready to help if you only reach out.

• Pace yourself. There’s no need to take a million credit hours your first semester or cram a study session in one night. You have time! And one bad grade won’t ruin your whole career.

• Focus on your friendships. College is a great place to meet your platonic soulmates and learn from each other. Go to community events, join a student organization, make time for study dates and concerts and meals together. There are so many people on your campus who want to meet you!

Katie Hazel

Jo Talbot

• Practice self-care. Exercise, eat well, get enough sleep, meditate, journal, go to therapy — do whatever you need to do to keep your mental health in good shape. Think of it as making deposits in your bank account. It means that when stress arises you’ll have enough credit in the bank to make a withdrawal without becoming overdrawn.

• Ask for help. Whatever issue you are having, help is available —  you just have to ask. You do not have to go through it alone. Chances are once you reach out you will be connected to others in a similar position, if you wish, and you won’t feel so alone. 

• Find your tribe. There is every kind of person at college. If they are not in your dorm, go find them. Join groups that appeal to you - whether that’s drama, mountain biking, coding, whatever. Do the things that you enjoy and you'll find people you relate to. Don’t feel you have to adjust yourself to fit in with the people who happen to be around you. 

 Advice from the alums

• Smile. And join extra curricular activities.

• Utilize whatever free counseling services are offered. You never know what support you’ll receive! 

• Get to know the campus beyond just the dorm (or home) and class if you can. I was a non traditional student but I lived on campus and I participated in all kinds of extracurricular activities including a pageant, serving on student government and leading in different student organizations and I wouldn't trade those or experiences for anything. I got to do a lot of traveling for free and a lot of mentorship.

• Don't be afraid to ask for help or even apply for disability services if you need them. Don't let things get to a place they overwhelm you and you are without support. My dorm mate is my best friend and we went for mental health treatment together.

• It’s okay to turn down opportunities, and other things, if it means choosing stability and mental health first.

• Lots of people told me university would be the best years of my life. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to turn it into something that it may just not be for you, everyone has their best years at different stages in their lives.

• Be a part of some kind of community - sports team, club, society. If you find the right one it will become your family while away from home.

• Embrace new things.

• Have a work life balance… 8hrs work, 8hrs leisure/social/fun, 8hrs sleep.

• Avoid partying too hard as it impacts your sleep and work.

• Be organized, keep on track with studies and deadlines so you can avoid unnecessary anxiety.

• Keep on top of your work but also take advantage of the vast array of social opportunities. College is about the whole experience, not just the work. I’ll never forget walking into this huge room that was laid out with tables from every society you could join. It’s much harder to find groups to join after university, I kind of wish I’d tried out a few more! The groups and societies are a good way to make friends and to feel part of something.

• Ask for help if you need it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Most colleges have a counseling service for free, you may as well take advantage of it!

• ​​What really helped me in college was taking a PE class each quarter.  I think it’s really important to do something non academic that you enjoy on a regular basis when you are a full time student. For me this was outdoor/athletic activities. 

• Have classmates/friends or a study group to help you get through the academics. For many classes there’s just not enough time to do all the reading or research. With a study group you can learn from others what you might not have understood or had time for and in turn you can share what you know with them. Basically collaborating with each other. 

• Something that really helped me mentally was reading mindless books before bed. I went through a period when I had insomnia because I couldn’t stop thinking about school–at the time I was taking 8 classes so no wonder! I made myself read something totally unrelated to school before bed which helped immensely. 

• I'd tell me to take the time to enjoy things. It's nice to be the best academically, but spending time having fun is important. C's still get degrees after all!

• My piece of advice is to get involved in some sort of club, sorority/fraternity, intermural sports, or group activity.  Don’t rely on making friends with just your roommates or people in the dorms, it’s nice to have a variety of people to hang out with!

• Try as many new things as you can & PLAY. 

• Demand loving, caring, considerate partners.

• Try not to overload yourself -- it’s not worth it and something will suffer as a result, maybe it’s getting a C in a class you should get an A in or maybe it’s your other activities.

• Moderate the partying. It’s important to have fun, but too much partying can impact your physical and your mental health negatively.

• What I learned is to find people who, like me, were dealing with massive change, and to talk openly about what we were facing. It didn't need to be a lot of people but one or two trusted sources helped me know that I wasn't going crazy. I found that while I was taught to keep things inside, it was not healthy for my state of mind. As women, we are often taught to suck it up and go fight the good fight. But for me, I didn't want to fight or take anyone down. One of the librarians became my confidants and we are in touch until today. You don't have to navigate alone. Find ways to take a breath and connect with yourself and then find others you can relate to. You will find them in the most unlikely places. And remember, there's no destination in life — just life itself.