Help! My Self-Care isn’t working: This is how you cure burnout
In these strange COVID times, so many of us are facing burnout – and with good reason, with numerous factors at play.
First up, there’s emotional exhaustion from too much time caring too much.
Then there’s a decreased sense of accomplishment – “nothing I do matters.”
And let’s not forget ‘depersonalization’: a dwindling capacity for compassion, empathy and caring.
Based on this, can you guess who’s most burnt out right now? That’s right: healthcare workers, teachers and parents.
What does Burnout look like?
Key signs of burnout include:
forgetfulness and difficulty concentrating
diminished pride in your work
losing sight of yourself and your goals
difficulty maintaining relationships and being present with loved ones
frustration and irritability with co-workers
unexplained muscle tension, pain, fatigue, and insomnia
What Causes Burnout?
In their book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, coauthors (and twin sisters) Emily and Amelia Nagoski reveal that burnout happens when we get stuck in our ‘stress cycle’, which is brought on by our jobs and day-to-day lives.
When we’re stressed, our body releases epinephrine, a hormone that sends blood to our muscles (so that we are ready to run from danger.) However, that same hormone slows many other bodily functions, which is why we feel exhausted and less able to function when we’re stressed.
A stress cycle is like a tunnel. Under normal circumstances, an emotional experience starts, then you go through it, and it ends. However, when you’re experiencing the same emotion all day, every day, there’s no satisfactory end to that feeling. Think of a doctor in an understaffed, overcrowded Covid ward in a hospital. They are stuck in an emotional tunnel with no end in sight. They aren’t able to complete the cycle. This holds true for anyone unable to release their emotions through constant worry or stress.
How to Repair Burnout
The good news is there is a solution, and no matter what the stress is caused by, the cure is the same. The Nagoskis demonstrate that completing the stress cycle — finding a way to let our bodies know we’re no longer threatened or in danger and we can stop being stressed — can be the most effective way to avoid burnout and emotional exhaustion. Therefore to get relief, we need to add in to our life activities that complete the stress cycle, activities that enable us to ‘move through the tunnel’ of our emotional experience and out the other side. If you’ve tried all your usual self-care methods and they just aren’t working, it’s because they are not completing your stress cycle. Instead, try these six scientifically proven techniques highlighted by the Nagoskis instead. (Note: Netflix, wine and chocolate sadly don’t work!)
1 Move
Stress is physical, so physical activity plays a big part in getting rid of it. The Nagoskis say that exercise is “your first line of attack in the battle against burnout.” Aim for 20 to 60 minutes a day.
2 Create
Experiment with what works best for you. Try painting, coloring, scultping, writing, dancing, playing an instrument. Aim to create an atmosphere that encourages big emotions. The Nagoskis note, “Engaging in creative activities today leads to more energy, excitement, and enthusiasm tomorrow.”
3 Bond
Your crew. Spend time connecting with people who love you. “When friendly chitchat with colleagues doesn’t cut it, when you’re too stressed out for laughter, deeper connection with a loving presence is called for. Most often, this comes from some loving and beloved person who likes, respects, and trusts you, whom you like, respect, and trust,” say the Nagoskis.
4 Get a hug
A tight 20-second hug, a longer-than-polite kiss, snuggling with a pet. Physical affection helps your body release hormones like oxytocin, which boosts trust and bonding and helps chase away the sense of danger your body was previously holding on to. As our hormones shift, our heart rate slows and our body begins to feel safe.
5 Cry
Crying is one of our body’s mechanisms to release stress. Let it all out. “Anyone who says 'crying doesn’t solve anything' doesn’t know the difference between dealing with the stress and dealing with the situation that causes the stress,” say the Nagoskis.
6 Laugh
Laughter is a way to release and express all the emotions we’re keeping inside. Put on a funny movie, spend time with a friend who makes you laugh. It’s not just for jollies, laughter uses an ancient evolutionary system that regulates emotions.
TIP: Do it daily! Try to include one or more of these things in your life every day, and especially after a stressful day or when you feel burnt out.
If you would like to talk to one of our counselors about burnout or stress, make an appointment here. If you are a student at Berkeley University, this is your unique link to our therapists.
