“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies” – Nelson Mandela

Being able to forgive someone after they’ve committed an offense toward you isn’t an automatic response. Typically, you’ll be caught in the moment, allowing your emotions to influence – even to dictate – your response. Feelings of shock, anger or disappointment will override any rational, logical or compassionate inclination to calmly address the offender, let alone immediately forgive them.

Forgiveness can be hard. For all the teachings and lessons found in religious and secular contexts on why we should forgive those that wrong us, it doesn’t make it any easier. So if you’re grappling with forgiveness, whether for something that happened recently or something that happened long ago, here are some questions you can consider that can help you move through it skillfully and at your own pace.